Only you can answer this question, but we can provide you some signs of infidelity. Please keep in mind that a single sign does not necessarily indicate that your significant other is cheating. Instead, you need to look at the totality of all the signs that you observe, coupled with your instinct, and knowledge of your significant other's personal traits.
At the conclusion, and after looking at all the facts reasonably, then you can determine what kind of investigative methods need to be used and when the best time is to start your surveillance. It is not a good idea to give any indication that you suspect infidelity as this will cause your significant other to cover their activities even better and you may never know the truth.
Some signs to look out for:
1. Working Late: Many times, people do really have to work late, but this is a good time for cheaters to meet up with their secret lover. They may also go to the gym after work, meet their secret lover there, and then spend time together after working out.
2. Secretive
around the computer: With
modern technology, the computer has become a preferred tool for
cheaters since they can rapidly connect with others looking for a
short term, or long term, discrete affair. Often, you may find your
significant other hording the computer or spending excessive amounts
of time on it. During this time they may be searching known websites
for meeting other adulterers, using an instant messaging program, or
they may be contacting their lover using email (this is often safe
for them if you are in the house since they can't talk on the phone).
If you share a computer, great! This will be easy to verify. If your
significant other has their own computer, and will not allow you to
use it, this is a big warning sign.
3. Phone
calls and/or text messages at all hours of the night:
If you are jealous and think your significant other is cheating,
imagine what the other man/woman must be thinking. Your significant
other is living in the same house as you and sleeping in the same
bed. This is often the basis behind late night phone calls from your
significant others lover to check up on them. They also may just be
lonely and trying to set up the next meeting time.
4. Going
to meet new friends frequently:
People who are cheating may use the excuse that they are just going
for girls night or are just going to hang out with the guys. This is
perfectly normal, but if it is excessive, or your significant other
is hanging out with people you've never met, then this could be cause
for concern.
5. Excessive
"business" trips: Again,
this is another way for cheaters to cover up their secret affairs.
Often they will go on business trips only to be across town having
sexual relations with their new found lover. Or, they may really be
going out of town and go out looking for love during their down time.
What's excessive? It depends on the line of work your significant
other is in and what their past traveling requirements have been? Has
there been a change?
6. Protective
of cell phone and/or computer:
When you are around, and most likely when you're not, the computer
and cell phone are the main methods of communication and they will
protect these items if they were the last thing on earth. They know
the ramifications of you finding out their secret affair and will go
to great lengths to protect it. If they keep you away from the phone
or the computer at all costs, then this could be a warning sign. Also
be aware that they may have a second (or third) phone that is
used exclusively to communicate with their secret lover. If this is
the case, the phone may be hidden in a gym bag or the car. Sudden
trips to the store the pick up an item they forgot may be the time
when this "backup" phone is used.
7. Excessive
mileage on vehicle:
Usually,
people have a routine that stays fairly consistent. You go to work,
to the store, maybe to the gym, and some general errands. People who
are involved with infidelity do not want to be discovered (usually)
and will often travel away from the city in which they live to avoid
detection (this is especially true if you live in a small down where
rumors spread quickly). You can log the mileage on your significant
others vehicle and see if there is a day to day change and compare it
against their activities.
8.
Unaccounted
for charges on credit card:
Your significant other may be
using the credit card to purchase stays
at hotels/motels during lunch or gifts for his/her lover. They may also
be purchsing pay as you go airtime for their secret phone! If your
suspect does the bookkeeping in the household, and you are not allowed
to review
the bills, this may be a significant sign.
9. Helping
your friends too much:
Hey, everyone likes to be
helpful, but if your significant other is
spending an excessive amount of time helping one, or more, of your
friends, then there may be a need for some concern. If they are
having an affair with one of your friends, it is the perfect alibi to
say that they are just helping your friend with their studies,
packing boxes, resume, cooking, paining, yard sale, and anything else
that they
can come up with. If you point out their excessive friendliness,
accusations that
your being too jealous will follow.
10. Unexplained gifts: You may find new items that your significant other has brought home that do not match his/her buying habbits, income, or personality. This can be anything from jewelry, artwork, CD's, clothing, perfume/cologne. Often, people who are in a new relationship lack the insight of their partner's taste and subsequently make poor gift decisions. You, on the other hand, know your significant other and can clearly see that they have brought something home that they would not buy with their own money.
11.
Drug or excessive alcohol use:
If your significant other has a problem with drug or excessive alcohol
use, then obviously they don't make good decisions and this is a
warning sign.